There are those amongst us contractor scum (as we are referred to by many) who are wont to complain. It's too hot. It's too cold. I hate the 120 days of wind. Dust storms suck. The hours are too long. My roommate snores. I sleep in a bunk bed. The mail is too slow. I don't like getting up at night to go outside to pee. We had incoming again last night and I didn't sleep well. I don't like wearing the battle rattle. The PX has no toothpaste/shampoo/soap. The DFAC had crappy food today.
To the complaints, the soft sensitive side of me says, "Wear lighter clothes. Put more clothes on. Yes it is windy, wear a mask. Dust storms do suck, don't they? Yes, the hours are long. Your roommate? Pfffffttt. My wife snores louder than your roommate. Living conditions are tough for soldiers too. We are in a war zone. We have to wear the battle rattle when the military tells us to. No toothpaste? Amazon ships in about a week." In short, go find a job someplace else where you work fewer hours, have fewer responsibilities and your pay reflects the time worked and lower duties as well. Those jobs are out there. They typically come with fries, though. And yes, that's me being my soft, sensitive self. Cuddly like a bunny rabbit, that's what they say about me.
But today, it's all about the Dining Facility, known to all and sundry in theater as the DFAC. On BAF, there are quite a number of DFAC's and they are reputed to be of varying quality. I've made an effort to go to most of them and I believe there are qualitative and quantitative differences. I'll not bore you with the differences between Yelner, Koele, Dragon, North and Warrior DFAC's, 'cause that's just not interesting. Well, just this one boring difference: Yelner shrimp stir fry - 85% cabbage and other vegetables, 15 % shrimp, North DFAC, 85% shrimp, 15% cabbage and other vegetables. The ratios are completely reversed. It is unbelievable. But because I live on the red headed step child side of BAF, I only get over to taste the forbidden fruits of the other DFAC's maybe once a month.
You know what I find interesting? Where people sit whilst mowing down their chow. The first time I was in Afghanistan, I did notice that each company would sit at the same table, and people sat at pretty much the same seats at the 'company table', as if seating was reserved. There is, of course, no such thing, it is open seating, but I do remember a few young Afghans with punked hair who sat at the end of 'our' table. The Deputy Program Manager would glare menacingly at them as they had the temerity to sit at 'our' table. Their unmitigated gall was unmatched. But, being Afghans and having a warrior temperment, they just ignored his stare down and eventually, they became the Afghans who sat at the end of 'our'table. That never stopped the DPM from throwing daggers with his eyes every time they sat down.
And this go around, I see it as well. The same people, the same time, the same entrance, the same food, sitting with the same people in the same seats. If an interloper happens to be sitting in 'their' seat, you see a moment when they are flummoxed, then they sit at the nearest table and adjust their schedule so they are safely ensconced in their seat the next day. If you examine your own life, I'm sure you will see one big bundle of routines and habits. Get up at the same time, start shaving on the same side, leave for work at the same time, take the same route - think about the habits and routines - I find them interesting. I ride my bike around BAF every morning. I used to shake things up, sometimes I'd turn left, other times I'd turn right, now I always turn right. I can't account for why. It's just a little over 13 km, and I've ridden well over 1500 km since I've been here - the same route, the same loop, the same time. I just broke a pedal yesterday, so I join those who are momentarily befuddled as their routine is disrupted while I wait for the miracle that is Amazon to deposit a pair of pedals on my doorstep. I like to change where I sit, but I typically sit on the same side. I, like many others, like my routine.
The DFAC is not open all day, so there are some tricks that are used to take some snack food out - I've just observed these tricks, mind you; I only take two items out, as allowed by DFAC policy. When I was working Kuwait, I had to be professionally dressed as I lived off base and had to be ready at a moments notice to go to a Ministry, interact with our sponsor, go to a hospital, or in the case of employees behaving badly, to the hoosegow. Not a lot of food you can fit into a decent pair of slacks. I knew I wasn't going to be leaving the confines of a base this trip, so I packed accordingly - I brought contractory contractor clothes only. We all dress pretty much the same - there go those routines and habits again. 511 cargo pants are the de rigueur 'uniform' for contractors, and they come in handy, for some, when you go to the DFAC. There are two cavernous pockets in the back, two voluminous pockets in the front, and an additional two pockets that merely resemble a small ravine that some manage to fill with more than their two items. There are others who wear a jacket. In the sweltering summer heat. Just to the DFAC. C'mon fellows. A little discretion goes a long way.
But the thing that really tickles me about the DFAC are the beard nets. I like them. Nobody wants to see a curly-q hair in their food, so hopefully the beard nets prevent any of them falling in to my nourishing food. But if I ever see a foreign hair in my food, well, I suspect I'll quickly become a fruititarian for the duration of my tour here.
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| Beard nets... |
